It is extremely hard to find the courage or the strength to forgive someone who have wronged you. I know because I’m one of those people who doesn’t forgive easily. I don’t forget either, I have excellent memory. Sometimes I wonder if all these emotions, rage, anger, impatience and the feeling of sadness that I hold on to just so I don’t have to be happy. Because happiness doesn’t last and it’ll ultimately lead to another wave of sadness or anger, so it would be easier just to hold on to the anger or sadness so the let down won’t ever come. I don’t know. I have things I feel angry about. I see the world as an unjust world where victims often don’t get justice and bad guys run around freely and proudly. The worst is those bad guys often know they’re doing something wrong but they keep on doing because they keep getting away with it. Right or wrong is numbers. The majority of people think you’re wrong then you’re wrong, there’s no real logic behind it. The majority of people think a certain thing is good, then it must be good and the rest of us, the minorities just have to accept that. That’s democracy. I don’t know, I just wish this is a world that’s fairer in some way. Yes, we’ve come a long way to reach today which is fairer in many ways compared with ancient times but, it is wrong to want more? To have no fear in raising children in this world? I guess that fear is always there, even in an Utopian society, there must be something a parent can fear.

For the new year, a new beginning, I wish I can be more forgiving and stop holding on to those memories and sadness and anger. I wish I can let them go. I wish I can continue to see the humour in almost everything and I wish to stay healthy. I wish all of these for my family and my loved ones.